RenFair 2017- Angie Verified ✓

SPOTTED: Shi & Knox Pitt out with mom at the SoCal Ren Fair in Irwindale. I missed them by a week. To think I could have been getting my face painted with Knox and throwing tomahawks with Shilo while sipping mead with Angie.  Angie, do you guys need a babysitter?

Do you even need convincing that the RenFaire is the ‘it’ thing to do if it has already been Jolie Verified?

Coachella is so 2015.  Ren Faire is so,  1415 B.C.?  From the fairy costumes, to the music, flower crowns and face paint, sometimes I wasn’t sure which festival I was attending. Though some of you might scoff the idea of going to Ye Old Pleasure Faire rather than attend your ecstasy filled music mecca, here are some reasons that might persuade you to attend the Pleasure Faire in the following years:

1. Thou Art Too Old For Thine Excrement

HMho7uS

As I age like a fine wine, I am less inclined to participate in events where I am continually suffocated between a group of neon clad rave tweens and shirtless sweaty bros wearing Raybans. I understand there are other places to sit and hang, but essentially this is the heart of the Coachella beast, and I for one would choose to avoid this nightmare in the first place.

2. Thine Shallow Bank Account

giphy

Coachella is a blowout of $800 plus for two days. If you want to do it right (and you don’t have the hookup), you are going to spend upwards of up to $1500, if not more. I would rather go to the Renaissance Fair, drink mead and buy jewelry and silver chalices and go to a nice Sushi Dinner later that night. Notice how I capitalized Sushi Dinner ? That is how much sushi means to me. Also check out Broke L.A.  (for next year), previously Brokechella, the low key version of Coachella for people who don’t have the monetary funds or luxury of getting to the mothership.

3. Thy Hearty Edibles

k7j1f

khheh

I know Coachella has better fair than Fyre Fest but I promise it is nothing as good as the selection of Turkey Legs, Gyros and Mediterranean food, Chocolate Covered Bananas,  Candied Almonds, and Pickles (among other things), at the Ren Faire.

4.   Supporting Thou Neighbor

khjje

If you are really into “F-ing the System”, then this is a perfect way to support your local artisans and small businesses.  Coachella has become a mainstream mesh of corporations and media-made-pop culture, so for all of you genuine hipsters out there despising the “man” then this is perfect for you.

6.  Thy Attire
tumblr_n04ib1AkIL1t96tobo2_250

You might be confused when you see flocks of girls wearing long hippie dresses and flowers crowns, fear not- you are still at Ye Old Pleasure Faire. If not for anything else, go to check out the costumes…

PS: you can rent costumes for the day if you arrive unprepared!

khi7fkhiyw khiwn

k7ijt

5. Accessibility

oprahThe Ren Faire has something for all ages, and all types of people. Feel free to bring your Mom, your grandpa, your newborn (we did), your accountant, and your pizza delivery guy. I promise you EVERYONE will have a good time. There are acres upon acres of games, food, music, jousting, shopping, and just the most amazing people watching.

Here I am with a cute barbarian man
Here I am with a cute barbarian man
Here I am after I stole a pig
Here I am after I stole a pig

 

Look, if you think I am hating on Coachella, I am not. I understand the cultural experience and importance. I just think over the years it has been deflated from what it is originally supposed to be, and personally I can’t take dealing with the heat, the crowds, and the idiots. I prefer a small shorter version of that, in which I leave and don’t come back after 5 hours.

The faire runs through May 21st, so there is still time to check it out. Buy tickets and get more info here.

It’s Shmeeeeeeee

We Only Really Want to Date Ourselves…

Sometimes you see it in public, sometimes it even happens to you.

You see a couple holding hands that look so similar they could be siblings- gross, ew, too couple-y, too mushy, too weird, too… (do I dare say) ‘incesty‘. But think back into your past relationships, and I am sure you can find a likeness of your own physical attributes in your significant other.

Facebook once mistook my boyfriend for me and asked if I would like to tag myself. What does this mean? Do we like people that look like ourselves because were ego driven, think we are beautiful and just want more me, me, me? If so, I guess it isn’t a bad thing to be so confident in yourself that you long to stare into your own eyes all day and whisper sweet nothings (recall the Greek hunter Narcissus).  The downloadable Faceapp is trending right now with people posting their “neural face transformations” of the original, the younger version of you, the older version of you, and the opposite sex version of you. Many people are commenting that they think their gender opposites are sexxxay.

Is there an innate human tendency in all of us that prefers our SO’s to look similar to ourselves in order to keep our specific hereditary gene pool strong? Humans are homogamous creatures who are inclined to mate with people that will carry on their dominant family features from an  evolutionary stance in order to develop the strongest blood line. One study also shows that we are more likely to trust people who have similar facial likeness to our own (because we obviously trust ourselves the most).

I actually look the same, so I am not quite sure how I should read that

All of the people below said they were attracted to the opposite sex version of themselves and most of them actually said they look like the type of guy/girl that they tend to date (me included).


Download Faceapp to see if you would date yourself.